Old World meets New Millennium

Dear Grandma,

I can’t help but wonder what you would be thinking. Maybe it’s the aroma, or the salt. Maybe it is the salt … I never use salt when I cook, except when I make this. Standing here over the stove mixing up the old-world flavor your mother taught you creates a movie in my mind.

There you are in our kitchen in Ohio. You and Grandpa would come for a week or so at a stretch. He would do our chores for us and you would cook. You would cook foods Mom loved but didn’t know how to make. You would bake cookies whose names we couldn’t pronounce and they would be devoured before they had even cooled off. Mom would always have a shelf cleared out in her big freezer, but it was crammed by the time you left.

I should have paid better attention.

If I had, I would be able to make my own pierogi or my own ruus-chee-kee. (I might even know how to spell it!) Oh they were so good. We were little. We couldn’t say the name. So when you were making your cooking plan we would just twist our fingers together and plead: “Grandma! Make some of these!”

The dough was rolled thin and cut into strips. Then a tiny slit was made in the middle and they were tied through themselves, fried and coated in powder sugar. Oh! To be a kid again!

But this recipe on the stove … it’s the one of yours I make. It’s the one my daughter loves. And it’s the one that’s had to make the move from Old World to New Millennium. Gram, I just can’t bear to scald, trim, stuff, roll. Aaack. The mess. The smell. The water everywhere. Gram, I had to find an easier way! Even today, when I couldn’t find the cleaned, shredded coleslaw mix at the store and had to actually cut up a head of cabbage I was like THIS IS TOO MUCH WORK!

But when we sat down at the table and everybody ate without having to pick things apart I knew you wouldn’t mind what I’d done to this old recipe. Everybody ate … that’s what mattered. And the leftovers made the trek to school in the kids’ thermal cups, perfect for a couple of days when it hasn’t even hit 20 degrees.

So here’s your recipe, in your own hand.

I think everybody has a recipe from their grandma. Some, like Smith-Frye College Fudge, are very hard to put to modern shortcuts. (All the recipes I have in my other grandma’s handwriting are for desserts. This is no surprise for anyone who knew her. LOL!) Others, like this or Hubby’s grandma’s stuffed peppers, are allowed to endure. Here’s my New Millennium improv.

2 lbs. ground beef
6 cups cooked white rice
1 15-oz. can Petite Diced Tomatoes
1 medium onion chopped fine
1 package pre-washed shredded cabbage or coleslaw mix
1 stick of butter or margarine
Salt (Ha!)

Brown ground beef and drain off any grease. Stir in rice and tomatoes and salt to taste. Melt butter in another pan and sautee cabbage and onions until vegetables are tender.

I think you would be surprised how good it tastes in pieces, Gram. I think you would be surprised how fast it disappears. I think you would be surprised by the price of cabbage! I miss you.

Love, Laura

spaghetti sauce and social studies

So I left Sunday blank on the plan and ended up asking everybody what they wanted for dinner: “Tacos! Calzone! White Macaroni!” came the usual refrain. Hubby threw in the CrockPot lasagne for good measure, knowing it’s simple. Yet, one by one I picked them off as an expert duck hunter through the reeds. I wasn’t in the mood to make any of that.

“What about spaghetti?” my daughter chimed. Now this, this was do-able. Not too much work, but warm and inviting on a 16-degree day. Perfect. Sometimes asking for help gets you something you didn’t expect … actual HeLp! You moms understand. So I put some notes on the erasable marker calendar. Half of their ideas were already on the plan, the other half went into the margins for when I change things over to February. See? Planning ahead. Then, when I made the spaghetti sauce, I did a little advance work pulling together a big batch of goodness over low heat on the stove.

Browned Ground beef
Petite Diced Tomatoes
Mushroom pieces and stems
A chopped onion sauteed with the beef
GaRLic … lots of GaRLic
Ground rosemary (because kids call the real stuff twigs!)
OrEgAnO … lots of OrEgAnO
Bay Leaves … two this time, but it depends
Sugar to cut the acidity
This day, about 4 15-oz cans of tomato sauce

There are no measurements. Mom can correct me, but I think I’ve been making this since I was about 12. Each of my brothers and I have our own take on Mom’s sauce, which, as she points out, makes them ours now, but these are the ingredients … along with low, slow heat.

After dinner last night I strained the sauce, reserving the meat and veggies with the noodles for leftovers night and freezing the herb-a-licious juicy part for next week. I’ll pull it out and use part of it for CrockPot lasagne. The rest will go into Friday Night Calzone. And so we come to yet another plan-ahead strategy for family mealtime:

Cook once. Eat twice … or more!

Getting a jump on some weeknight dinners was a great way to keep me close to the homework table yesterday. Besides, if I hadn’t been close by I might not be able to toss these interesting tidbits your way: The ExAcT height of Mt. Everest is 29,028 feet according to my daughter’s social studies book. And this thanks to the second-grader's work: The first-ever attempted assassination of an American president was in the Capitol Rotunda. When the assassin’s pistols BoTH misfired, President Andrew Jackson bludgeoned the man with his cane. Now there’s something you don’t read about every day!

supper companies

Well I went back to the grocery store yesterday. A week has gone by already. But with my menus already planned, I only needed a few things to get me set for next week. I think I spent $80. That’s absurdly low for a family of five! But, as I said, I had laid in some stock the past few weeks because of the weather, so it all will average out to the usual monthly total. Tonight we’ll have a yummy roast from my handy-dandy Dierberg’s cookbook, but first another angle on planning that deserves deeper exploration.

There is a fast-growing new industry out there that has yet to earn its own category in the phone book. They are not restaurants or caterers, so here I coin the term “supper companies.” Each has its own take on getting you ready to sit down together, but in general the programs are similar. They provide the ingredients and recipes. You assemble the meals and take them home. Freeze them for later or eat one that night. It’s as easy as drive-thru but healthier for you ... in lots of ways. First is the pure calorie count, fat intake, trans-fat issue … all that stuff. Second is the chance to work with a family member or with friends to assemble the dishes … a little bonding time goes a long way! Finally, there are the many benefits of sitting down together, even just once a week, for a family meal. …

There are lots of ways to gauge a burgeoning suburb. Traffic is the basic barometer. Can you get through a stoplight in one cycle? Not usually in my burb. And on the main artery through town you’ll find three … THREE! … of these supper companies waiting for you to test their recipes. St. Louis’ own mealMAKERS, founded in 2003, is in 11 states, soon to be 17. Minneapolis-based Let’s Dish, also founded in 2003, is in 12 states, soon to be 14. You can find a Super Suppers in most any state. And, while the first Missouri Dream Dinners is set to open in another St. Louis suburb soon, folks in most every other state can check out their plan-ahead-offerings. While I have yet to “cook with” any of these services, I have checked out the three in my suburb. Stepping into delightfully clean store fronts I found a homey spin put on an industrial-style kitchen. And when allowed to peak at the ingredients everything was fresh, crisp, wonderfully aromatic and … perhaps the best part … prepped for me! No chopping, slicing, peeling, trimming. Hurray! And there’s no clean-up. Wa-hoo! So I’m hoping to get with the karate moms for a few field trips and a few reviews. We could all use something healthy to pull out of the freezer after an hour’s workout.

If you use any of these services, or one that’s in your area but not listed here, please let me know what you think. I’m pondering adding these links to the sidebar.

Here’s to a lovely weekend with friends and family!

And my dad thought I wasn't listening ...

Do you fall asleep on the sofa? While I was nodding in and out Monday night Hubby was flipping through the late-night news-channel shows … the ones that boast intelligent debate but really are just people yelling and promoting books.

I bring you this because what I heard, while awake, got my attention. A man (who has some kind of book out of course) was pointing out that every trend has a backlash of sorts. His assertion, through my sleepy haze, seemed to be that Americans are about to overdose on technology, that soon the truly high fashion will be to have less technology. So gang, we here at Table Is Set are ahead of the trend! And I found another level of appreciation for this comic.

As I dozed off with his words and my hopes swimming through my head something else muddied the waters. A Pew Research Center poll and UCLA’s annual freshmen survey were reported online last week. From Tuesday’s paper:

The Dash for Cash
Wealth and fame are top goals for today’s 18- to 25-year-olds.
Most Important Goals in Life?
get rich … 81 percent
be famous … 51 percent
help needy … 30 percent
be community leader … 22 percent

Percentage of College Freshmen Considering Being Financially Well-off Very Important
1966 … 42
1976 … 50
1986 … 71
1996 … 72
2006 … 73

And in the soup of thoughts I’ve been straining I found a frightening broken record of my dad’s voice.

Dad’s “Actions speak louder than words” speech: I’m often seen slugging coffee and telling others to eat breakfast. Usually my breakfast is picking at a bagel or Pop Tart … no fruit … no yogurt … none of the stuff I make them eat … while assembling lunches. Why do I expect it to be easy for them to build a balanced breakfast? My actions are louder than my words. Experts say that when we model healthy habits at mealtime our kids will have healthy habits.
Dad’s “me first and to-hell with the next guy” speech: It’s not unheard of for the 7-year-old take the biggest piece of chicken he can find at dinner and leave part of it uneaten. “Only take what you’re going to eat,” we say regularly. It’s one of the little things that would stack up on my dad and lead to this speech. There are many more people who will drive you off the road to get to where they’re going than there are who will stop to help you after the crash. Which kind of person do I want to be? Which kind of person do I want my kids to be? They learn values in the daily things, not necessarily in the occasional grand gesture. Hey, kiddo, think of others even in the little things you do, maybe leave that biggest piece of chicken for Daddy and not be wasteful.
Dad’s “It’s not what you say, but how you say it” speech: He would always talk about tone-of-voice. I catch myself in this with my kids. Not just their tone, but mine, too. There are lots of ways to say the same thing and each way imparts its own underlying message. For instance, when in frustration and fatigue I say: “Glue your butt to that chair and eat the meal,” the gears shift from restless to hyper because somebody said “butt.” (If you have boys you know this is one of the most hilarious of English words.) If I say: “Stay in the chair and tell me about your day between bites,” I get totally different results. The only way to learn the impact of these different messages is to practice making conversation; to learn to soak up the bulk of communication, which is in body language, not words. When you see your sister stop her fork halfway to her face you know you’ve said something surprising, or hurtful, or thought-provoking or funny. Stop yourself, gauge the reaction, then continue in a way that considers how what you said made her FeeL.

So the mud settled to the bottom of my cerebral sea. I sailed on the clear water and soon found myself here, on the shores of a land where numbers don’t lie; in a country where fewer than one third of our children have regular family meals; combing the sands and finding surveys that tell us our inaction has been louder than our words … our young people put people behind everything else. It seems keypads and screens have made people less real. And so I offer up this soon-to-be-trendy antidote: Spend some time with people … turn off the technology. We have the power to change our world one meal at a time.

that darn cat

Well, sweetie, we're glad you're finally at peace.

She spent the last week of her life alternating between two things: Lurking by a door (I guess hoping to sneak off somewhere outside, like where she was born) and hiding. She got into the basement and we couldn't find her for a day-and-a-half. Finally we moved a bunch of stuff and there she was, behind some boxes on a shelf. Hubby and I knew this wasn't a good sign. As I said the other day, she fought urinary tract infections her whole life. The vet said her kidneys probably also suffered from congenital disease and now they had shut down. There was nothing we could do.

So saying good-bye took the sha-zizzle out of being snowed in this weekend. The kids are doing their best to understand, but it's hard for anyone to understand why life is finite or why certain among us are just made not to last for very long. We tell them life's not in the dying, but in the living.

"I wish she could be with us longer," my daughter said sobbing. She went on to tell me about all of their secret meetings in her room. "You see?" I said. "She was so happy every day, sharing love with all of us ... especially you and Daddy. Remember when you were in first grade and Schultzy died? It hurt so much. (She shook her head, wiped her nose.) Now it hurts less, doesn't it? (Another shake.) And when you think of him you think of the fun stuff and playing in the snow and how cute he was, don't you? (A snuffle/wipe/shake.) Take your time and it will be that way with Dusty, too."

Today is laundry day, which makes me miss Meow-Meow Kitty. She used to hate my being in "her room" all day and would sqwauk at me now and then.

Some will say: "It's just a cat." To that I say: "Feel the love."

Maybe it is just you and your cat. Maybe you're part of a Central-Perk-style family like we used to see on Friends. Maybe it's a more conventional picture. Feel it. Share it. Sit down in the middle of it and celebrate it.

Funny what "just a cat" can get you thinking about.

a plan with recipes

It’s been a bit crazy the past few days. Nothing overly exciting. Well, one exciting thing:

Each of the kids was promoted one belt level at karate this week, so that was vERy exciting. They have worked hard and their work has been recognized. Very cool. But it shuffled the days and times we needed to be at karate school which put a floop in the homework calendar, especially in a short week of school. As I said, nothing extra-ordinary, but enough to keep me from the keyboard … especially when I'm not certain how to make what I'm writing interesting. But I learned so much from visiting Susan's blog that I thought I should try to write about what I do regularly.

So we’ve been organizing life around karate, homework and the weather. For all my talk of planning I was surprised to look in the fridge last Friday night and see only 1½ gallons of milk in there. That might be enough for normal people, but not for the five of us. And especially not if we’re all going to be home for every meal for three days. So I put on the Chicago coat (Downfilled down to mid-calf, hood with predictable faux fur trim. I used to walk from Northwestern Station to North Michigan Ave. in that thing this time of year. Absolutely the best money I ever spent on winter outerware!) and went out for milk, firewood, marshmallows, and a few other things that made the three days we were iced into the house more tolerable. Now Round 2 is apparently on the way, with snow expected Saturday and Sunday. I don’t think I’ll be going for milk tonight, but the idea of being homebound again had me planning my menu through the end of the month. The third-grader has learned to look ahead on the refrigerator calendar and see what she might or might not eat.

“Chicken Monterey, ymmmm,” she was reading this morning. “Oooh, spinach stack … potato soup. I don’t know what that says … some kind of casserole.”

And that’s how I plan. When I come up with ideas I put them each on a different day. (They get moved around a lot.) Then when I make my grocery list I add in what’s on sale. (Mom’s voice again in my head: “Why pay full price? It can sit on my shelf as well as it can sit on theirs.”) For instance this week I brought home a lot of canned goods … soup and Spaghettios for their lunchboxes, vegetables to go with those superfluous patties the next time I have them, fruit because no one eats the “fresh” stuff when I buy it this time of year. And I grabbed some oddball ingredients because Sunday I’m not making any meals. We’ll eat a snack buffet. Everybody knows the best football of the year is now only two days away. (The Super Bowl is rarely the best game of the year!) Colts-Pats … becoming classic stuff here. Bears-Saints … despite my Chicago ties I just think I’ll be so happy no matter who wins this one! So Sunday I’ll pretend to be a guy … lounge pants … white socks … snack buffet and football. Unfortunately, I’ll have to do the cooking and the clean-up!

So that’s how it gets done. That’s how we eat together at least four nights out of seven … sometimes five nights out of seven. I plan a menu and shop to it. I try to only go to the stores once a week so I'm not spending tons of extra money. (We rarely eat out.) I build leftovers in for the days when we eat together separately, that way little goes to waste. I turn to the four of them for ideas (They are always the same: Tacos! Lasagne! Calzone! Enchiladas!) but mostly the onus is on me, which is why I feel “New Recipe Week” coming on, but not until the weather eases. As for the next few days … they are simple menus, but reasonably healthy.

I've heard from some moms who are looking for more strategies, so if you eat with your family regularly, please share how you get it done. As I've written here before, for this blog it's not wHaT we eat, but tHaT we sHaRe the mEAl that counts. Good weekend to all ...

Friday … Chicken Monterey

Saturday … “Spinach Stack”

Sunday … Football food … There will be a Mexi-buffet for the early game, with some premade goodies from Costco, as well as this layer dip with chips. Between games there will be veggies and dip available as well as some obligatory junk. For the late game we’re jumping over for a sampler of premade Asian treats from Costco. (I’m starting to explore menu ideas for a party in May.) Then I’ll have some cookies and a fruit salad out for the “dessert buffet.”

Elegant Taco Dip
1 pint sour cream
1 bottle taco sauce*
1 medium tomato, chopped*
1 onion, chopped fine*
1 cup finely shredded lettuce
1 8-oz. package shredded cheddar cheese
Tortilla chips for dipping

In a glass dish, spread sour cream and leave ¼-inch from edge of plate. Mix tomato and onion in taco sauce and spread on top of sour cream. Sprinkle lettuce on next, top with cheese. Best when refrigerated about an hour before serving. (*Just buy salsa and save a few steps. :)

Monday … Burritos … The one night where lettuce, tomatoes and onions are not salad.

Tuesday … Leftovers (for three) because they love ethnic food. Double Baked Potato Soup (for two) because they all really want to try it but it’s kind of a little guilty pleasure for us.

Double Baked Potato Soup
From the Best of Dierbergs
1 large russet potato
1 large sweet potato
2 Tbsps. butter
¼ cup flour
2 cups half-and-half
1 14-oz. can chicken broth
½ cup sour cream
¼ cup sliced green onion (I use the whole thing, not just the greens)
Salt and white pepper to taste
6 slices bacon, diced and cooked crisp
2 oz. finely shredded sharp cheddar cheese

Scrub potatoes and pierce with fork. Bake in 400-degree F oven for 1 hour, or microwave (high) for 5 to 8 minutes, until cooked through. Let stand until cool enough to handle. Peel potatoes, coarsely mash and set aside. In heavy 3-quart saucepan, melt butter over medium-high heat. Whisk in flour to make thick paste. Slowly whisk in half-and-half and broth. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly until thickened and bubbly, about 2 minutes. Add mashed potatoes, sour cream and green onion; cook until heated through. Season with salt and pepper. Top each serving with bacon and cheese.

Wednesday … Ham and Noodle casserole … An “old-school” recipe from the 1970s, but quick and easy and warm on a January night.

Ham Noodle Casserole
2 10-oz. packages frozen chopped broccoli*
8 oz. cooked noodles
¼ cup margarine
1 medium onion, chopped
1½ cups cubed, cooked ham
1 10¾-oz. can cream of mushroom soup
½ cup milk
4 oz. shredded cheddar cheese

Cook broccoli as package directs; drain well. Drain noodles well. Sauté onion in margarine. Put noodles, sautéed onions, margarine and ham in a 2 1/2 –quart casserole and toss lightly. Combine broccoli, soup and milk. Pour over noodles; sprinkle cheese on top. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes or until cheese is melted and slightly brown.
(*I steam fresh broccoli a little instead.)

Thursday ... Leftovers (Typically this is grocery shopping day, so we need to clean out and start fresh.)

sometimes planning ahead is completely unscheduled

The cooking was done and I had nearly finished the dishes when it dawned on me: “This would be a good post. I mean, I am planning ahead. Why not write about this?”

Most times I answer my own question: “Well, it’s not very ExCiTiNg, now, is it?” But often it’s the little things that get us through, so here’s what happened yesterday that made me realize I was planning ahead for meals. I heard my mom’s in my head: “All that’s made for this family is a pack of gum.”

Yup. The family of five I live in now sees some of the same things the family of five I grew up in saw. The world is built around even numbers.

Table for four and someone squeezes in. Booth for six and the kids get shoved on one side. Recipes generally yield an even number of servings. (Do I make just enough or will they eat the leftovers?) And, as was the case with yesterday’s cooking, the grocery store sells hamburger patties in packages of two or four.

But a pack of gum … well … a pack of gum has FIVE sticks. Hence Mom’s mantra.

So I was there at the counter getting ready to make salisbury steak with three superfluous patties that couldn’t be re-frozen. “What will I do with these?” I thought, as the first five sizzled in the frying pan. “They can’t just sit in the fridge uncooked.” As soon as I remembered what I had done last time, the Foreman was on the counter warming up.

Plain burgers with good ol’ Kraft singles, a can of green beans and some tater tots. That’s what happened to the three extra burgers last time. So Tuesday I will pop them in the microwave and make the side dishes and the three kids won’t be able to complain about dinner. I had the motivation and the ingredients, so I made two dinners at once.

Sometimes planning ahead is completely unscheduled!

Whatever you have planned this weekend I hope you have a great time. Everyone here has Monday off, so I think I’ll take that day off, too. But I’ll leave you with a recipe and something I found reading a string of quotes I’d never read before, some quotes that … as so many of his words do … brought tears to my eyes.

“Life’s most urgent question is: ‘What are you doing for others?”’

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

The Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968)

Salisbury Steak
(off the top of my head)

5 hamburger patties, about a half-pound each
Non-stick cooking spray
2 14.5-oz. cans cream of mushroom soup
2 4-oz. cans mushroom pieces and stems
Milk
Garlic powder
Worcestershire sauce

Cooked white rice or cooked broad noodles
1 15-oz. can green beans or peas

Coat frying pan with non-stick spray. Sprinkle both sides of patties with garlic powder. Brown both sides of the patties. While patties are cooking, put condensed soup in a large bowl or measuring cup. Drain juice from mushrooms into soup can. Add enough milk to fill the soup can. Stir this liquid into condensed soup, adding Worcestershire sauce to taste. (I bet I use 2-3 Tbsps.) Reduce heat and add mushrooms and sauce to fry pan. Cover and cook over low heat about 45 minutes until meat is done through. Serve over rice or noodles. (My guys mix the veggies into the sauce and noodles.)

powerful outlook

This is Dusty, fourth in a line of “special needs” pets. There was the calico (goofed up at a chromosomal level). There was the diabetic tabby and the dysplased German Shepherd. Then Dusty with her irregular bladder. It seems the tissue is malformed, making her prone to infections … unless she gets daily medicine on her food. For some reason every winter she stops eating and so stops getting her medicine. We put her in her room with everything she needs and hope she eats. Today she only ate while I combed her.

“Oh … nobody wants to eat alone,” I said picking up the comb and netting a jellyfish. I do not like eating alone. It feels so mechanical, like stopping at the gas pump.

When the karate schedule makes family meals unrealistic for us the kids eat together before workouts. Hubby and I eat together after. Even when we're not all together, nobody eats alone.

When we were in high school my brothers and I all worked, played sports, had social lives. If I remember right, Mom had a calendar where we put our work schedules and other “appointments.” I don’t remember how she used to get us all there, but quite regularly there was “Family Function Night.” This meant the five of us, no one else, and an easy place such as Chili’s. When Mom was really having a good week Family Function meant the three of us going to church with her and Dad, then having brunch at the Village Inn. There wasn’t always a lot of conversation (especially on Sunday morning!), but there was some. We all knew Family Function Night was untouchable … so did our friends. As we grew older it wasn’t unheard of for a friend’s car to be outside the house when we got back from dinner.

“Be home on time, OK?” one parent would say.

“K,” the highly conversive teen would reply, unmuffling the Hair Metal blasting inside the friend’s car. The car would pull away, usually with the friend waving to my parents and whichever one of us was leaving, you know, ignoring them. But we had come together for a family meal. No messy kitchen. No worrying about who would like the food. Just some laughs, a little info on what was going on with each other and a safe zone that fostered the ability to talk to my brothers or my parents when something truly important was going on. It’s kind of like the way it’s harder to talk to a spouse about work than it is to talk to a co-worker. The co-worker has all the background info. Maybe you gave it to them over lunch one day. Interesting.

How many regular meals do you have with a particular co-worker? You might eat lunch with the same person every day. Now think about how many regular meals you have with the people who share your home with you. Hmmm. It’s just a matter of planning, really. You might e-mail a colleague to set a certain day aside. Your Outlook calendar might pop open today and say “Lunch with Bob.”

So, why not put Family Function Night on there? Because, really, who likes eating alone?

fresh –n– crispy

First, a little business: I have permission to post this strip on my blog for 60 days. I can’t figure any way to do that except to delete it and repost it. I’d love an assist from any Blogger buddies who can help me get it in the banner for the next few weeks. ;)

This morning we walked to the bus stop and felt something we hadn’t felt most of the holiday break … crisp winter air in our lungs. It was refreshing after a few days of relatively cool temperatures and a lot of rain. St. Louis can have a soupy quality, much more tolerable these days than it is, say, in August. Fifty-five and humid vs. 105 and humid. All take the past few days, thanks.

But there’s something to be said for seeing your breath on a January morning. That fresh smell of cold penetrates your nose and crisps your lungs. It’s oddly invigorating.

Everywhere I turn I find people truly energized by the coming of this New Year. They’re posting new calendars, waiting for the freshly unwrapped pages to flatten out against the wall. Moving their hands across the crisp, clean blocks that wait to be filled with the daily happenings of 2007 … Lucky ’07. Some are trying again at familiar resolutions. Others are hoping to keep up what they successfully started in 2006. Some are saving money to build a house. Some are clearing clutter to make changes to their current homes. Some are helping their high-school seniors finalize college decisions. They’re all planning ahead, which seems like a good theme for this month. It’s key to getting into the family meal habit. And working ahead is a multi-faceted strategy, from menu to shopping to cooking, so we’ll turn this gem all around and catch as much light as we can with it. Starting with a date. Pick one from among the blank squares left this month or next and mark down “Family Meal.” They say making an appointment with yourself is a good way to build in a little “me-time.” Make an appointment with the people you share a home with and the next plan will make will be a menu.

As for me, I’m trying to stretch my list of regularly reccuring meals, looking for fresh, crisp, recipes. But fresh and crisp don’t usually describe January comfort foods, so it’s back to the Crock-Pot this karate night, thanks to this oldie-but-goodie from my mom.

Lazy Lasagna
1½ lbs. Italian Sausage
1 medium onion, chopped
1 8-oz. package pepperoni
1 4-oz. can mushroom pieces and stems
1 14-oz. jar spaghetti sauce
1 14-oz. jar pizza sauce
1 12-oz. package kluski or egg noodles, cooked and drained
8 oz. shredded mozzarella cheese
8 oz. shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Remove sausage from casing. Brown with onion over medium heat. Drain off grease. Add spaghetti and pizza sauces and simmer about 5 minutes. Layer in Crock-Pot as follows: meat mixture, noodles, cheeses, pepperoni and mushrooms. Pot should be full. Cook on low heat until the cheeses melt, about 1½ hours.

random thoughts on being human

Funny how something you’ve seen before can bring up new thoughts each time you see it. Posting the comic started one of my mental jellyfishing expeditions. The kids are still out of school, but other obligations have us back in the routine, which means less time at the table together.

“Where’s Daddy?” the 7-year-old asked sitting down with his brother and sister for an early karate-night dinner. “Why aren’t we eating together?” Wow. His observations gave new meaning to the many holiday meals we shared the past few weeks. And then jellyfish fluttered across my sea of thoughts. I grabbed my net. The first thing I caught was this comic strip. Then:

Way back when fire was new, before that even, humans learned to form communities because it made surviving easier. They bonded in the search for food. They bonded in the sharing of food. They created family.

As fire grew older and people grew smarter, traditions came to these families and then to larger communities. When they wanted to explain what they couldn’t understand they used the power of metaphors—food metaphors.

As flame became electric spark people put barriers between themselves. Houses went from common rooms to more and more rooms. Space for the individual (space between people) became increasingly important. Suburbs sprang up and we built not only walls but also fences. We no longer worked together to grow and gather food to survive, we made certain no one spoke to us while on que at the grocery store.

And now we live in this era of connection. We can reach anybody anytime. We can talk on the phone while on que rather than make small talk with the people around us. How connected are we really?

So I looked at this comic strip and saw another level—scathing sarcasm. In a time of constant connectedness we crave something more tangible than a wireless feed; something we can smell, taste, touch; something that feeds our souls. Real life … eat, pro-create, die … the humanness we share with those scantily clad hunter-gatherers hunched around the fire.

A shared meal … maybe it’s the original wireless connection.

new year ... new habits

When I first saw this comic strip I laughed and laughed … it’s exactly the challenge I’m trying to help people understand put in a way that made me laugh and laugh. I just had to have it … and the creators of Baby Blues have granted permission for it to be here for two months … so I’m going to figure out how to get Blogger to put it there that long, right at the top (and maybe bigger ... click on it if you need to make it bigger), so when we stop by we can smile and remember sitting down for regular family meals isn’t easy, but it IS easier than we think it will be.

We don’t have to cook all day the way our grandmother’s did. Some of those early convenience items appear questionable at best by today’s standards. (Did anyone else eat the Swanson’s frozen dinners of the 1970s? My brothers and I always liked those cool little pans they came in … and the fact that a frozen dinner meant a babysitter was soon to arrive!) Today’s conveniences do everything from shorten cook time to shorten clean-up. We should share some of our favorite shortcuts.

But I’ve learned just in these first days of the year that many of my resolutions are not just about me (as they probably should be) they are about my family and some of the things I hope we can accomplish together. Mom convincing everybody else that these resolutions are a good idea. Hmmm. That’s not an easy sell. So, if one regular meal together a week is on your 2007 To-Do List here are a few pointers from experts … some are paid pros, others moms with a tradition of gathering their gangs for family meals.

“Be realistic and make gradual changes,” Dr. Dianne Neumark-Sztainer said.

Just say no to techno interruptions. Ignore the phones … you have voicemail. Leave the TV off, it sucks in your kids’ attention and you want it for yourself. A little music might be good, but in the beginning, count on conversation to fill the silence.

Sit at the table so your family knows this is where the focus should be. On the sofa in front of a blank TV will still make the TV the center of attention because it’s off.

“Talk over your plan with your family and find out what works for everyone,” Neumark-Sztainer said. “Ask your children for some menu ideas. Try to avoid conflict at the table so that it will be an enjoyable experience for everyone.”

Don’t jump in on proper etiquette the first time you sit down. “If you want them to come back, you might not want to start correcting their table manners first thing,” family therapist Penny Durban said.

Mary gets her teenage boys to pitch-in with preparation. "It's always great to get the kids to talk about their day," she said. "Of course, it depends on their moods. Sometimes we get a lot. Sometimes we get nothing. I just know that kids don't like to be drilled. So I try to use open-ended questions."

She's on to two tips from the pros. "Taking part in meal preparation might open the door for casual conversation," family therapist Mary Jo Carlson said. "Have kids participate in meal selection and they may be more interested in preparing it. I also find humor a good springboard. I try to let them take the lead and try no to be too pointed" in questioning or reacting. "Over reacting to what they say is a good way to shut down communication."

Even the youngest of children can help set the table or gather ingredients from the fridge.

Remember working ahead allows the cook to enjoy the meal ... and clean-up goes faster if everyone pitches in.

Family mealtime is about creating an environment of welcome, Mary said, adding that her boys sometimes rib her about the tablecloth and lit candle. "But for me it's communicating non-verbally that this is special," she said. "We're coming together. We haven't seen each other all day and this is our time together."

Time together. Not a fancy holiday feast. Just a little piece of a regular day spent together. So don't worry about the shortcuts you used to get there ... as a matter of fact, celebrate them by sharing them here. Today's shortcut for me is that I'm not cooking at all. There are still so many holiday leftovers!