new year ... new habits

When I first saw this comic strip I laughed and laughed … it’s exactly the challenge I’m trying to help people understand put in a way that made me laugh and laugh. I just had to have it … and the creators of Baby Blues have granted permission for it to be here for two months … so I’m going to figure out how to get Blogger to put it there that long, right at the top (and maybe bigger ... click on it if you need to make it bigger), so when we stop by we can smile and remember sitting down for regular family meals isn’t easy, but it IS easier than we think it will be.

We don’t have to cook all day the way our grandmother’s did. Some of those early convenience items appear questionable at best by today’s standards. (Did anyone else eat the Swanson’s frozen dinners of the 1970s? My brothers and I always liked those cool little pans they came in … and the fact that a frozen dinner meant a babysitter was soon to arrive!) Today’s conveniences do everything from shorten cook time to shorten clean-up. We should share some of our favorite shortcuts.

But I’ve learned just in these first days of the year that many of my resolutions are not just about me (as they probably should be) they are about my family and some of the things I hope we can accomplish together. Mom convincing everybody else that these resolutions are a good idea. Hmmm. That’s not an easy sell. So, if one regular meal together a week is on your 2007 To-Do List here are a few pointers from experts … some are paid pros, others moms with a tradition of gathering their gangs for family meals.

“Be realistic and make gradual changes,” Dr. Dianne Neumark-Sztainer said.

Just say no to techno interruptions. Ignore the phones … you have voicemail. Leave the TV off, it sucks in your kids’ attention and you want it for yourself. A little music might be good, but in the beginning, count on conversation to fill the silence.

Sit at the table so your family knows this is where the focus should be. On the sofa in front of a blank TV will still make the TV the center of attention because it’s off.

“Talk over your plan with your family and find out what works for everyone,” Neumark-Sztainer said. “Ask your children for some menu ideas. Try to avoid conflict at the table so that it will be an enjoyable experience for everyone.”

Don’t jump in on proper etiquette the first time you sit down. “If you want them to come back, you might not want to start correcting their table manners first thing,” family therapist Penny Durban said.

Mary gets her teenage boys to pitch-in with preparation. "It's always great to get the kids to talk about their day," she said. "Of course, it depends on their moods. Sometimes we get a lot. Sometimes we get nothing. I just know that kids don't like to be drilled. So I try to use open-ended questions."

She's on to two tips from the pros. "Taking part in meal preparation might open the door for casual conversation," family therapist Mary Jo Carlson said. "Have kids participate in meal selection and they may be more interested in preparing it. I also find humor a good springboard. I try to let them take the lead and try no to be too pointed" in questioning or reacting. "Over reacting to what they say is a good way to shut down communication."

Even the youngest of children can help set the table or gather ingredients from the fridge.

Remember working ahead allows the cook to enjoy the meal ... and clean-up goes faster if everyone pitches in.

Family mealtime is about creating an environment of welcome, Mary said, adding that her boys sometimes rib her about the tablecloth and lit candle. "But for me it's communicating non-verbally that this is special," she said. "We're coming together. We haven't seen each other all day and this is our time together."

Time together. Not a fancy holiday feast. Just a little piece of a regular day spent together. So don't worry about the shortcuts you used to get there ... as a matter of fact, celebrate them by sharing them here. Today's shortcut for me is that I'm not cooking at all. There are still so many holiday leftovers!