tackling troublesome T-times

I can make the decision to change. I can live with change. I cannot stand the time between making the decision and moving to a new rhythm. Transition. Yuck.

Most recently was the transition from summer to the new school year. Just when I’m used to summer we’re running like crazy because it’s fall again. Give me two weeks. I’ll be fine. And so as September passed I found the beat of the new school year. Tuesdays and Thursdays are the most troublesome.

Most of us can’t do this family meal thing every day. Most parents work outside the home and shuttle more than one kid to more than one activity. We have to be realistic, especially if we’re trying to create a new custom for our family. For my family that means that on Tuesdays and Thursdays we eat together separately.

The kids get off the bus and have dinner together around 4:30. It’s always something they will just eat without complaining. After they’re in bed my husband and I eat together, sometimes at the table, usually in front of the TV. We’ve been together long enough that we don’t always need the conversation. We’ve been parents long enough to appreciate eating without interruption … without cutting someone else’s food or filling their glass or picking the onions out of their casserole. Usually I make us something the kids wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole, leftover or otherwise.

So if you drop a few things on your way to this new family table, or even if you spill the milk when you get there, don’t worry. Creating a new rhythm is much harder than moving to it once it's established. Pick one day that works best this week. Maybe it will be a different day next week, so what? Keep going. And if you don’t want to argue with the 7-year-old about not eating vegetables, or with the 14-year-old about not eating meat then don’t.

“Be realistic and make gradual changes,” said Dr. Dianne Neumark-Sztainer of the University of Minnesota’s Project EAT: Eating Among Teens. “Talk over your plan with your family and find out what works for everyone. Ask your children for some menu ideas. Try to avoid conflict at the table so that it will be an enjoyable experience for everyone.”

That pizza might be a great place to start. With mine its chicken nuggets with macaroni and cheese. I open a can of fruit and call this a Tuesday-night-before-karate meal. They eat it and I say: “Now, get your homework so we can finish it before dad gets home.” Here are some other trusty stand-bys for mine:

Tacos … They never argue on taco night. I just serve the meat and cheese with chips … no shells or tortillas, just chips. Then I put some chopped tomato and some black olives at the side of the plate. I’m lucky, the veggies disappear.

Leftover spaghetti … I always make enough on spaghetti night to get me through the next Troublesome T-Time, even if I have to freeze it. I know it will come in handy.

Breakfast … My husband believes leftover pizza is good for breakfast. I believe French toast and sausage are good for dinner. We’ve got to eat! We can’t be roped in by too many rules! When all else fails I’ll make the kids an old-fashioned farm breakfast (most of which pops out of the toaster) for dinner.

You choose it, you eat it ... On those rare occasions when there’s a little this, a little that, but not enough of one thing to feed them all they are allowed to choose for themselves. But if they choose it they have to eat it. We don’t have time on Tuesdays for do-overs.

What works for you?